Terror and Pterodactyls: a powerful tool for facing your fear

I feel very privileged to appear as a guest blogger at http://www.findingplenty.com – a fantastic website full of inspiring posts and interesting articles. To see my post – Terror and Pterodactyls: a powerful tool for facing your fear – click here

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What is a CDF? – Part 2

Danielle LaPorte launched The Desire Map with a series of book clubs across the world on the same night. I was lucky to be invited, alongside my beautiful partner Matt, to one of these book clubs led by my very inspiring friend, Andrea Callanan. Amidst the crackling fire, candles and delicious snacks a small group of us bonded as we discussed what we wanted in our lives and which CDFs were important to us.

For some it was important to feel loved. For others, secure. Some craved freedom, creativity, success, happiness, respect or energy. We explored different feelings, discussed words and shared a wealth of previous self-development experience with each other. Andrea had created a safe space for us to open up, discuss our core-desired feelings and support each other.

CDF photo

I fondly remember evenings with Matt searching through a dictionary and finding out the true meanings of words that resonated with us. What is the difference between safe and secure? What is the difference between brave and courageous? They may be such subtle differences in the connotations of these words however those subtle differences have great impact. If we couldn’t find the right word, we’d find alternatives in a thesaurus. If we still couldn’t find the right word, we’d make up one that had our own, personal interpretation.

 So here are mine…

Adventurous ~ Passionate ~ Visionary ~ Inspiring ~ Diamond

 I’ve been reflecting on these feelings, feeling these feelings and using these feelings as a compass to guide my decisions. Is this adventurous? Am I inspiring people today? Does that make me feel diamond?

 What has happened to me since then? Matt and I moved to Manchester on a fantastic adventure! He has achieved a fantastic promotion and so have I. My new role has ticked each CDF and my new car and piano make me feel diamond. My musical is going stateside. Matt and I are going on holiday to Spain, spending time my parents and seeing Beyonce in Paris. We’ve even created CDFs for Mattrick.

 Other success stories from the Desire Mappers in our club include promotions (loads of them), romances, dream houses, life-style changes, expanding business, meeting heroes and working with idols.

 So sometimes life goals can be achieved without predicting them and sometimes it’s exciting to not map everything out. Feel the right feelings and the goals behind those feelings can find you.

What is a CDF? – Part 1

CDF is an acronym I have been using since the start of 2014. It is part of a thought process that has had a massive impact on my life. You can see my CDFs on my Philosophy page.

 “What is a CDF?” asked Mali Taylor-Powell (a friend and colleague) as she looked at my website. I explained. I had planned to leave this acronym a mystery so that my website visitors would need to search for an explanation. I’d send them on an “Indiana Jones-esque” adventure to find the hidden treasure. When I tried this myself (via The Lost Temple of Google) this was my first discovery…

 Cumulative Distribution Function: In probability theory and statistics, the cumulative distribution function (CDF), or just distribution function, describes the probability that a real-valued random variable X with a given probability distribution will be found to have a value less than or equal to x.

 Oh dear, Mali was right. Further explanation was needed!

 To me, CDF stands for Core Desired Feeling. It is a principle taken from Danielle LaPorte’s bestselling book – The Desire Map. She encourages people to use feelings as a measure of success rather than goals and ambitions.

It is a simple idea and an incredibly powerful one.

main-desire-book

In the world of self-development we are often taught to set goals and then work on achieving them. In many cases this can have great results….however….What happens if we are not sure what goals we want? Will they make us happy when we achieve them? Are they goals we want or what other people want for us? How do we feel if we don’t achieve them? Sometimes goals can be as risky as “The Mirror of Erised” from Harry Potter and we fall into the trap of “I will be happy when….”

Choose a feeling. How do you want to feel?

Open-hearted. Graceful. Kind. Successful. Powerful. Free. Expressive. Sexy. Spontaneous. Wealthy. Creative. Safe. Excited. Healthy. Strong. Joyful. Grounded. Courageous. Rock n’ roll.

The list is as expansive as language.

Sometimes, a word may resonate with you. Sometimes you may feel that life has been AWESOME when you’ve been ‘sponteneous’ or ‘creative’ and you want more! Sometimes, it may be something you aspire to feel. Using your CDFs as a compass, they can help guide your decisions and change your world.

In part two, I’ll discuss how I discovered my CDFs through attending a very inspirational book club.

Behold: A website

It’s July 26th and I have a website! A website that has been on the cards for the past 6 months. It began with a chat with my partner Matt and then a wonderful present from him at Christmas – my own domain name: http://www.patricksteed.co.uk

Wow! That’s kool. I’ll get started. Little did I know that it would raise some deep and profound questions: Who is Patrick Steed? Why should he have a website? What do I need to share with the world?

This prompted a fantastic discussion with a wonderful friend, Beth Goudie, who at the time was on the cusp of marriage. She was thinking about her new website, expanding as a performer and reinventing herself with a new married name.

We discussed whether I should be: Patrick Steed – the composer? Or Patrick Steed – the choir leader? Or the inspirer? Or performer? What if I choose to write a book? Or move to Thailand and set up a turtle sanctuary?

The answer was simple; be Patrick Steed – the person. So here is the website. You’ll find out everything that’s going on. Any new projects, any major life events, the whole shebang!

So I dedicate this journal post to Matt and Beth – thank you for the guidance!

Here we are at Beth and Sam's wedding in January 2014

Here we are at Beth and Sam’s wedding in January 2014